Game On!

Since I've been a little under the weather, Here is a posting from guest blogger, Beth.

I looked up the definition on "player" on Merraim-Webster.

Pronunciation: 'plA-&r
Function: noun
: one that plays : as a : a person who plays a game b : MUSICIAN c : ACTOR d : a device that reproduces recorded material (as video images or music) from a usually specified medium e : one actively involved especially in a competitive field or process : PARTICIPANT

Forget Merriam Webster. We're not talking player; we're talking PLAYA! And it seems women have their own universal definitions. I had a few friends write in with their answer to the question, What is a playa?

"A 'Playa' is a good looking guy that wears GQ clothing with a nice hair cut; and who, in his savoir faire demeanor, engages you in deep conversation. The "Playa" aspect is when you see him out the next weekend wearing the same GQ clothes and gazing into another girls eye's giving her the same damn lines!

"A 'Playa' is someone who has his cell phone permanently attached to him and always takes calls in private, purportedly speaking to his mother and sister, and who disappears to see his mother and sister on a weekend night without any advance notice to you. Yet in the year that you've dated the guy, you have never been invited home to meet his family."

Any old dictionary defines a "player" as a person who participates in or is skilled at some game, someone who plays a musical instrument, or a theatrical performer. But really, all of these definitions can be applied to the world of dating. A "playa" is skilled at the game of charm, manipulation, sex and sexual exploitation. They often play their victim for a fool. And they put on one hell of a show (preceding up to and into the bedroom).

How do you spot a player? Unfortunately it is hard to spot a player until you've been played, usually evidenced by little or lack of post-coital communication. Another difficulty in spotting a player lies in a person's ability to shift in and out of player-mode. Most people usually have their 'player phase.' It can be brought on by a bad break-up, a dating drought, or their twenties. However, here's a quick rule of thumb for spotting a player - look for the attractive, most approachable, confident person in the bar and you’ve usually found one. If in doubt, consult your friends. Don't they always seem to pick up on unseemly character traits about the people you date more quickly than you do?

Have I been played? Sure. Do I want to tell you about it? I would, but I've blocked it out. There are few experiences with a player even worth remembering. Have I played others? Possibly. Most of us are probably guilty of treating other people's emotions carelessly at some point. That doesn't make it right, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn't admit to it. So to borrow a phrase, I say we should not hate the player, but hate the game. So what's the game then? Dating? Well, I don't hate it. I'll just call it a necessary evil.