11.12.2007

I got the blues

I went to pay for a cup of coffee the other day, reached into my beaded, pink, coin purse to lighten its load, and pulled out a fistful of coins. Picking out the quarters proved to be a chore because for every American coin I had as many Euros—remnants from my recent house-hunting trip.

The sight of unfamiliar currency in my very familiar purse illustrates where I am these days—caught between two lands, with one foot planted on this side of the pond and its opposite straddling the other. I am now a visitor in my own home. It feels lonely and I haven’t even moved yet.

Of course, it doesn’t help that Max is away for ten long days. He left for a business convention in Hawaii (of all places), while I am stuck wrapping up final details. Today, movers come to pack our stuff to be shipped to Germany. And in preparation, I’ve spent the greater part of my weekend disassembling my beautifully assembled house, reducing our worldly possessions into three piles: things to move, things to store, and things to give away. I hate to admit this, but I actually got weepy pulling photographs down from the walls. I loved my place and was very happy there.

Moving now feels so real and so imminent—probably because it is. Tonight is the first in a series of going away events in my honor -- just in time to enhance my already sentimental state.

10 comments:

Princess Extraordinaire said...

It's no wonder you're feeling sad and sentimental - not only are you moving but your honey is away and that makes it all the more difficult to feel secure right now..hang in there knowing you'll get through ths one day at a time...maybe posting some of your fun memories of your house would help...

utenzi said...

I don't know how well you'll take to being an expat over in Germany, Diane, but I suspect you'll start to love that house very quickly. I'm looking forward to hearing about your adventures overseas!

egan said...

I would feel the same. You had many memories there so I'm sure you're justified in feeling this way. Hawaii? How does one swing that as a work retreat?

kenju said...

I agree with Utenzi; I think you'll love living in Europe. You'll get to see so much while you're there, and your house is fantastic. I hope you enjoyed that party tonight and if you get weepy and sentimental - who cares?

Me said...

New Adventures New Adventures....i have moved so much these past 10 years and it's always emotionally draining to leave your friends and family behind.

if you are ever interested, one of my best friends lives in Frankfurt....is that far from you? If it is, disregard, but she has a kick ass, expatriot book club....:)

running42k said...

Hope you're out of your funk soon.

AmyD said...

Big changes like this are never easy; it's ok to feel blue about this! And packing up for ANY reason can be so somber/sad...I recall thinking it was so depressing that I could pack up my entire life into a single truck (nevermind that it was the biggest truck they had). It's just so symbolic. Or something. ;o)

Hang in there and keep busy while your prince is away. And make every minute count. The fact that people are already throwing farewell parties in your honor leads me to believe they will also throw "welcome back!" ones once you return to your not-so-foreign land. ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

Thanks for paving the way. It's great to read how this big move affects your everyday life. Last week my husband announced we will be moving to Germany next year. He and I are excited, as are the kids, but it's a huge change. Scary and exciting all at once. Reading your blog makes it a little easier to imagine.

TamWill said...

You are making a big move overseas and I think that would make anyone tremble.
But I am sure the adventure side of you will be tickled to redecorate in Germany.
Moving is stressful, but this will soon pass. Hang in there!

patches said...

I just saw the pictures you posted of your soon to be new digs. What a find!

Nothing like cardboard boxes to make it all real. Moving is hard enough when you're just changing neighborhoods, but changing continents, adds so much more to the equation. Maybe a quick phone call to Max...