Lady of Leisure

“How was your day? Tell me all about it.”

I've asked the same questions before, but this time my delivery was more intense. Max's workday didn’t conclude until 8pm because of a conference call with clients from the United States. He arrived home to find a clean apartment, a hot dinner, and one very anxious wife.

What can I say? After spending 12 hours alone in a cramped apartment, I needed companionship beyond the furry, 4-legged type. But Max needed to wind down.

“I’ll tell you all about my day in a minute, Sweetie. Just let me change out of this suit and tie first,” he said.

I’m sure it only took Max 15 minutes to make himself more comfortable, but to me, it felt more like thirty. During my wait, I asked him the same question in various forms –a futile attempt to get a quicker response.

“So tell me about your day?”

“How was the first day on the job?”

“Did you enjoy your day at the office?”

“Give me all the details?”

“How did you spend your day?”

I sounded like a talking doll. Pull the string to see what inane thing she’ll say next.

Max just giggled as he sat down by me at the table. I felt this strange, overwhelming sensation—neediness. I’ve never experienced the feeling quite this intensly, and didn’t like it, not one bit. Welcome to day 4 of life as a lady of leisure. I’m already dreading day 5.

I do have things I should be doing. I need to decide whether to go with the legal, state-sponsored insurance or pay for the private plan. I should be studying German. Grocery shopping is a daily chore, as is the laundry (we don’t have a dryer in our temporary unit so I have to hand and iron).

Even with daily tasks, I can’t help but feel a little bored. I miss going into the office and actually felt jealous when Max told me of his first run-in with a computer technician. Different country, same stereotypes when it comes to the dreaded IT department.

Hopefully, I’ll find my groove soon. I need the comfort that routine offers. But I think it might take a little time, perhaps after we move into our permanent residence.


running42k said...

Hang in there. Can't you find a good book somewhere and go people watch in a coffee shop?

Anonymous said...

I really hope Max puts your marriage first. Working 12 hour days is not the life for newlyweds, especially when you don't have your own support network. Tell him to get on board. Either go in to the office late if there are late calls with the US that can't be avoided (then you can spend the mornings together) or tell him to come home for lunch. You're not getting a fair deal if he puts his job ahead of your relationship.

June said...

I agree with running24, and so dont agree with anonymous. I think maybe though they misunderstood.

Its a new job. Might be more hours at first, but things will settle in.

If there is ONE thing I think I know from reading about Max is that he will NEVER put his job before his marriage.

Chill out.

And Diane, hugs honey. Enjoy the leisure; get use to the new surroundings. Go out and explore explore explore!!

Fabi Yvette said...

Ditto, June!!

utenzi said...

Damn. I thought a life of leisure would be well suited to you, Diane. I'm sure I'd adapt quite quickly. LOL I suspect you need to keep busier than I do. (I'm lazy)

Diane Mandy said...

R42k- tomorrow. I think I'll make my way to a coffee shop tomorrow and do some people watching.

Anonymous- I appreciate your concern, and I agree that if this late night thing becomes the norm, Max and I will have to chat. I hope it doesn't come to that.

June- I think you're right. A new job always tends to be a little more hectic in the begining. Max has a good track record of being thoughtful, but he always has been a bit of a workaholic. Part of the reason we moved here was because the job should give him more of a work/life balance. Just might take some time.

Fabi- ditto onm response to June.

Utenzi-If I don't stay busy I go CRAZY! But certainly I wouldn't describe you lazy.

egan said...

Yeah, give it a few more weeks. Is there some hobby you can do outside your pad? Maybe working out, cycling, walking, etc.

I still think you should have fun trying crazy new things with blogging or podcasting.

15 minutes? Hmmm, he wasn't avoiding you was he? How does it take so long to disrobe?

ms chica said...

I can't speak on behalf of life as an ex-pat but I can tell you relocating from a life in an office to life at home is a very humbling experience...I' still adjusting on some levels...just relax. It takes time.

Cheryl said...

You'll hit your stride. In the meantime, let all our blogs keep you company!

kenju said...

Cheryl is right. You will hit your stride and find things to occupy you, especially after you move into the house. It's hard to go from being occupied all the time to staying home.

Diane Mandy said...

Egan- I appreciate the suggestions, and do plan to do more blogging and podcasting. Max didn't take the entire 15 miutes to change. He was ...uh... a little indisposed during those moments.

Ms. Chica - I think you're right. The adjustment is a little humbling. I just need to be patient.

Cheryl - yes! The blogging community is being very very helpful to me right now.

Kenju- I can't wait to get to my new home. I think all will be much better!

Zhaan said...

I experienced your neediness on a much different smaller scale during the man's 4 weeks out of the country. However after the first week I got in a stride. Granted I was working but I still had hours to fill at night. You'll get your groove soon plus I doubt he'll be working that much on and on. Also when you get in your house to decorate you'll be busy!

egan said...

Ha, thanks for the clarification. I won't ask anything else. Now I need to catch up on your newest happenings.