2.14.2008

February 14: Self Love Day

Kismet, perhaps? Two separate events inspired today’s tale.

First, a recent post by the very witty Catherinette reminded me of something I wrote a couple Valentines ago. I contemplated whether to polish it up and bring it back for an encore posting as my Valentine to you, dear bloggers.

I was hesitant. Then, something happened to convince me to go ahead and re-post it. Through the virtual grapevine, I learned today is Snackie’s Self Love Day--an event any blogger, with or without Valentine, can happily celebrate. It’s a day where we not only proclaim our love for those most important, but also ourselves. If you’d like to participate, click on the link included or see the rules at the end of this post.


This concept of loving yourself is one I learned many Valentines ago. Before Max, most of my forty, forty-one Valentines have been anything but hearts and flowers. And so you know just how unromantic past holidays have been, I share this tale from February 14, 1985.

Back in the day when big hair and even bigger shoulder pads were all the rage on campus, Franklin County High, my old stomping grounds, accepted floral deliveries on Valentine's Day. Given the fact this countywide school boasted a student population of over 1500, the administration had to make no fewer than three 20-minute announcements throughout the day, requesting lucky gift recipients drop by the administration building to pick up their prizes.

Trust me—February 14 was the one day out the entire school year when you actually wanted to hear your name on the loud speaker followed by the words, "Please come to the principal's office." On this holiday, you would have thought the high school’s announcer was Bob Barker. And although she never verbalized it, you could tell each young lass was secretly whispering, “Pick me! Pick me!“

It seemed like every girl, even the otherwise unpopular, got picked expect one-- me, also know as Dead Girl Without Valentine Walking.

As students rendezvoused at lockers to sneak a quick smooch with the objects of their affection, I skulked through the narrow halls humiliated and empty-handed. Year one, I blamed the problem on being a freshman--there just hadn't been time to acquire a boyfriend. But by my junior year, with neither a Valentine nor a valid excuse, I could tolerate the humiliation no longer.

Because I worked at my father's restaurant most nights, I had a lot of expendable capital for a girl my age. And so for my 17th Valentine’s Day, I decided to use my earnings to warm up the coldest day of the year by sending a dozen red roses to myself.

That day, I beamed when I heard Mrs. Bateman call my name over the loud speakers. She really did sound like Bob Baker.

"Who sent you flowers?" the curious asked.

"It was a secret admirer!" I flaunted the hand-written card in people’s faces and pretended to gush, my acting worthy of an Oscar.

I adored the attention the delivery brought me. It didn't matter that I had to be my own Valentine. As far as anyone else knew, I was among the cherished few specifically chosen by FTD.

Sadly, however, my thrill ended before I got home from school. You see, I couldn't bear to have my nosey sister discover what I had done and subsequently ditched the long-stemmed dozen in the dumpster down the road from where I lived.

Still, this all-time Valentine's charade reaped wonderful benefit. In its aftermath I learned a couple important lessons. First, there wasn't any harm in being my own Valentine. Second, I didn't need anyone else to validate that I was lovable. I just was. I never again pretended to have a special someone. Single or not, I was already special.

In the years since that Valentine, despite broken relationships and failed marriages, I've never forgotten these lessons of my youth. And just to make sure, I treat myself to fresh flowers or a box of chocolates every February 14th and never feel a twinge of silliness in doing so.

Now show your self-love…

1.) Post a self-love banners on your blog and declare February 14th as the day you not only love your one and only, but the day that you love yourself!
2.) Post one nice thing about yourself......then ask others to post one thing that they really like about you.
3.) Enjoy yourself!

24 comments:

Sizzle said...

stupid high school peer pressure. that was pretty resourceful of you though it's sad you had to dump them to keep your charade up. i love the idea of treating ourselves like our own valentine because you're right, we deserve it. and honestly, there's no shame in being single. i said that even when i was single.

meno said...

"Dead Girl Without Valentine Walking"

You made me spit on the keyboard. I think sending yourself flowers was brilliant. You should do it again.

Rositta said...

That's funny, I never received a single valentine let alone flowers in school, that was bad. In later years I once sent myself flowers to work, isn't it bizarre what we do. Now, it doesn't matter at all because I love myself and have a love, as do you...ciao

kenju said...

I like the idea (any florist would).....LOL

brookem said...

I love the idea of treating yourself to flowers! Hope you have a great VD, my friend!

Hilly said...

Oh man, I know that feeling! Our Pep Club or whatever you want to call it, handmade these Valentine's baskets each year and a guy could pay for one to get delivered to a girl during 3rd period. I am not ashamed to say that I paid for my own one year, ahem!

Thanks for taking part in Self-Love Day and I hope V-Day brings you lots of love in whatever form it takes :).

Andrea said...

I think your blog is witty, fresh and fun.
And that story was pretty good! :)

utenzi said...

Happy St Valentine's Day, Diane. Now you have someone in Max that gives you not only flowers but shiny things too. While maybe not as important as loving yourself, it's not so bad either!

V-Grrrl said...

At my school, it was the Homecoming mums. Would you get a homecoming mum???

I met the man who would be my husband when I was 17. When I went off to college, he sent me elaborate flower arrangements on a regular basis--for no reason other than that he missed me. Imagine being a college freshman living in a dorm and getting regular flower deliveries. The only ones who hated me more than the girls on the floor were their boyfriends who had to hear about all the flowers V in Room 120 got from her boyfriend.

I'm still with the same guy almost 30 years later....

karey m. said...

oh! i'm going to have to remember this one for my girlies! this is a sweet story, such an awesome message...

and such girl power.

catherinette said...

Ach! I can't believe you ditched the flowers? No!! That's not how I wanted the story to end. . .

Sara said...

That is fabulous. I used to loathe Valentine's day when I was in high school, for the very same reason. Or, what's even worse, is if you PARENT'S sent you something, instead of a boy. Ugh.

Great tale, though!

Neal said...

Happy V-day.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

What a wise girl to send yourself flowers! I love it! I also love the idea of loving yourself today -and every day for that matter.

christina said...

Yes, you ARE lovable. Hope you had a great day.

Dan-E said...

it's great how you seem relentlessly upbeat even when things aren't going well. and you're one of the few women who can really pull off the pixie haircut.

as for self-love i had other things in mind... but i'll leave it at that.

Cowgirl Warrior said...

Happy Valentine's Day and awesome post today. Your posts are always awesome by the way.
Hugs!

Cheryl said...

I think that's a great story. You're lovable, we all are :) All us bloggers anyway. I love that you seem like a very supportive person--to your husband, other bloggers. That is so important for people to have.

brandy said...

Aww what a great post to publish on Valentine's Day! Such a great reminder, this time of year. I hope you have a fantastic (had a fantastic? the time change screws me up!) Valentine's Day my friend!

Aimée said...

Great story! I wholeheartedly agree with pampering yourself.

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

Bravo Diane!

Liza S. said...

What an inspiring story. I, too, never got flowers at school. Even in my last year of high school - when I was confident, had plenty of friends, and considered myself attractive, nothing came for me. At all. The girl next to me, with frizzy hair, pimply cheeks, and a strange odor got flowers while I left the class empty handed. It really makes one realize that you can't count on anyone else making you happy to be yourself - you have to be happy with yourself on your own.

patches said...

Very resourceful! Oh the H.S. pressure to belong..

Anonymous said...

i learn something new about you all the time - chico