11.20.2008

One very slow day at a time

I'm feeling a tad perturbed at my husband's employer today. We've known about his promotion and our move to Barcelona for three weeks now, but we still don't know about the benefits package details or even what Max's new salary might be. You heard me right. Max had to accept a job without really knowing if the compensation made the change and aggravation worth our while.

In some ways, benefits and salary don't matter. The notation on his resume and the wealth of experience he will gain cannot be valued. This is a good career move for Max. And, what is good for him is good for us. Still, we are suppose to be relocating to a different country in short two and a half months (3 weeks of which we will be away for the holidays). Yet, human resources hasn't even scheduled our house-hunting trip or given us any idea whether we will get a housing allowance. Max had to hand in our lease termination here in Germany without knowing what our new address will be. Moreover, I can't begin to start deciding what to pack and what store without having an idea of where we will land.

Basically, our life is in limbo. And frankly, I don't like the feeling. All Max and I can do is wait--for calls and letters from the company or for my next prenatal visit--to get a glimmer of insight into our immediate future. I find the time in between, void of any new information, absolutely suffocating.

Living life one day at a time--it's easier said than done. Any advice on how I might make this phase in my life a little less difficult?

18 comments:

AmyD said...

I'd tell you to drink, but for two very amazing reasons, you naturally won't be able to do that. Hmm...maybe you could be a squeaky wheel with the H.R. folks, or "offer" to help plan the house0hunting trip, etc? Sometimes that works! Other things you could do would be to start going through and getting rid of things you know you don't really need, so you don't have to pack and move them again. Good luck! I really hope they get in gear soon so you don't have added stress in your life!

dawn said...

A few:

1. Breathe!

2. Set milestones. Instead of looking at the big picture, set small steps for you to reach and overcome. Sometimes a big laundry list of things to do is way too overwhelming and doesn't make sense anyway, because A needs to get done before B anyway.

3. Know that no matter what happens, everything is going to be fine. I know that everyone "knows" that, but tell it to yourself -- out loud, if that helps -- because it's true.

Preston said...

Martinis! Martinis! Martinis! And life moves fast enough as it is--enjoy the little slow time you have right now. They'll come a time when you wish you had some of it back. :)

Preston said...

Uh fake martinis since your pregnant. :)

PapaScott said...

Chocolate!

V-Grrrl said...

We moved to Brussels with a lot of these same issues STILL UNDECIDED. It is really hard to live in the space between where you are and where you're going with so many unanswered questions. We didn't get a house hunting trip, had no idea whether our eventual home would accommodate what had had shipped, and didn't even know where we were going to stay when we arrived in Belgium until three days before our flight left the States.

My advice is while you're waiting for details, go through your stuff. Downsize and get rid of all your excess, group like things together for the packers, research the city of Barcelona, maybe contact an expat organization there for advice on where to live.

patches said...

It's one thing to take things a day at a time when you are responsible for only yourself, but you are juggling what is in the best interest for four...I think you exhibiting more patience than I could.

Danie said...

Advice: Don't panic. It will all work out the way it's supposed to.

I understand the state of limbo well and, I too, don't do well in it. Two and a half months is plenty of time, though. Most of my international moves have been done in less than one month notice.

Hang in there. x

oreneta said...

Breathe deeply...

kenju said...

I have no advice pertaining to the move, but I'd say take it one day at a time and trust that it will work out - you don't need stress in your life right now (especially now)!!

Thanks for the visit; I'd LOVE to come your way (in both countries) but since mr. kenju's stroke, he can't get around as well as he used to, and that will curb my foreign travel (that and the financial situation over here!)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I wish I had some really good advice---But, I don't, unfortunetly.
BUT, there is a WONDERFULL Blogger named "MAR"...(You can get to her through my sidebar, if you are interested.) She and her husband live very close to Barcelona---He is German, and they lived in Germeny for many many years....Just to feel like you might know someone in Barcelona--Check out her blog and tell her that you are moving there.....THEY were relocated from Germany to Barcelona by Mr. Mar's company/work, if I am remembering correctly....Anyway---She is a lovely bright interesting very very nice person.....

Meanwhile, sit down in a very comfortable chair with a Big Bowl of Chocolate Ice Cream with Chocolate Chips----Soothing, at least for a minute or two....(lol)

eusmaca said...

Breathe in, Breath out, Breathe in, Breathe out... and count to 10! Think of this as practice for when you will need it more!

Doncha worry woman, everything will work out, it always does :)

Claire said...

Oy! Can you perhaps surf the net for apartments or houses? By figuring out the neighborhoods and what is nice hopefully you can narrow something down. Otherwise, I would tell his company to cough up the money for a hotel until you get settled. In the meantime, pack the things that you can. It will keep your hands busy and your mind on other things.

Blogging Mama said...

I apologize, I have nothing for you.
No advice no nothing.
Just a horror story. :)

We got our assignment in end of Nov, house hunted end of Jan and finally got our plane tickets booked (you know the ones to bring us to our new home on March 1?) the day before we left to move here! The final terms of the contract were actually signed during our house hunting trip. The company didn't even schedule the movers until the week before they came, nice huh?

I can certainly hope your experience is better!

Simple Answer said...

Sooooo been there. Here's hoping answers come soon! (and insanity stays away!)

A Touch of Dutch said...

Awful! You know, the answers above all seem already point to great ideas. And since I am not experienced enough in the international moving-chaos department, I think they're pretty helpful up there ;-) I hope the puzzle pieces will fall easily into place. No stress at this time! ;-)

swenglishexpat said...

How frustrating for you! Normally I would have recommended an extra large Martini, but ...

Tanya said...

Weve only ever had 6 weeks from go to woah. Two moves ago we were sitting surrounded by packed boxes with moving day in spitting distance and still hadnt decided which of two places to chose. Needless to say eventually an ultimatum was issued (from me to him) and the decision was made!! It all works out in the end and life is supposed to be an adventure isnt it??