1.26.2009

Patience is a virtue, right?


Max and I returned to Germany without a clear idea of where we might be living once we move to Barcelona. Negotiations on *the apartment* continue, partly because of the southern European sense of time--where no one seems to be in a real rush to close a deal-- and partly because of a 12th-hour revelation that the owner doesn't want to rent to a couple with pets. And since bringing Charlie to Spain is not negotiable, my desire to actually live there has been reduced to a philisophical "if living in this apartment is meant to be, it's meant to be." If not, Max and I have decided to continue searching rather than settle on something we don't absolutely love. We've got time to be picky--while Max has started his job, he won't be able to officially work in Spain until May at the earliest.

You ask: How does Max work as the company's manager of southern Europe without actually living in that part of the continent? Travel, travel, travel. This week, he is in Athens. Next week, it's Italy. The week after, my husband will return to Barcelona. Needless to say, his travel schedule is interferring with our family life. We only have all or part of the weekends together and, quite frankly, it isn't enough.

Still, I need to force a smile on my face and exercise patience. In the long run, Max's career move will be good for us even though, in the short term, it's a pain in the ass. Can you tell patience isn't one of my strong points?

16 comments:

kenju said...

Back when mr. kenju was working, he was gone nearly all the time, at least 3 days a week and often more. It is hell. I know how frustrating it can be, so I hope it will end soon and you will find the best apartment ever - where they will allow dogs!

headbang8 said...

Don't get me started on the subject of patience, Miss Mandy! Master Right and I have endured almost as much time doing our relationship long distance as we have cuddled up in each other's arms.

You're right. It's heartbreaking. But it's only heartbreaking because you're so much in love. And THAT'S a blessing.

rubysomeday said...

Flat hunting in Barcelona sounds uber-glamourous, but I imagine it is quite stressful in reality! Best of luck.

AmyD said...

That would be so hard!! I just had a long, crazy year of not seeing Mark often enough, but at least he was working in the other room late at night, as opposed to in another country. But you're right; the dues you both pay right now WILL pay off big in the future, and in the meantime, you also get to see a lot of really great countries and places...enjoy it while you have it, I guess. But of course, this is always SOOO much easier said than done. I hope things settle down for you once the move to Barcelona is complete. Hang in there!

3T said...

OK, I've been near the end of my patience rope, with the husband working 12 hour days and following dinner, dropping into a dead sleep.

I think you are being very patient, Diane. The hard part is, as you stated, it's their careers. So acceptance of the facts is inevitable.

And as headbang8 stated, it's because you're so much in love. That is a blessing that not everyone finds. I'm going to try and look at it from that slant, hopefully to feel less frustration over my man's career. And feel more blessed, that we have each other. Even if it feels like I basically see him only on weekends.

I wish you luck on the apartment hunting. I've no doubt you'll find exactly what you're looking for.

3T

American in Norway said...

Oh I have been there... with the traveling hubby... Can you go with him? That would be awesome wouldn't it?

Sue Jacquette said...

You know, I was thinking of you just the other day when I heard news of a terrible storm in France and Spain. I trust you weren't effected?

Oh, and I completely understand the traveling spouse issue. My husband is on the road constantly for work, too. In fact, he is home for a grand total of 6 days in January (not consecutively, of course). Having great friends helps with that.

Global Librarian said...

My husband was based in Zurich for 6 months before we actually moved here.

We were apart more than we liked. So I quit my job early and started racking up frequent flier miles by joining him on half the business trips.

patches said...

THat sounds like more time spouseless than I am used to having. I see mine about three days a week, which allows me to miss him and appreciate him. It doesn't work for everyone.

Good luck with the apartment hunting. It's always a relief to get one sure thing nailed down when life is chaotic and uncertain.

Shelly said...

Ohhh...I had a little missing spouse meltdown last fall. He was sleeping here but that was about it, the good thing is you know it's going to end but in the middle of it ... it sucks.
On the house hunting front...mayyybeee...it's cuz there is something absolutely perfect that is going to pop up closer to your actual moving date, I like to think there is something out there waiting for me and all the crap-ola is happening for that reason.
Oh, and a big giant yessssss to the Barcelona decorating question...yippieeeee!

sassy said...

Oh, I feel your pain! I know, it's so hard... we feel the sae way being stuck here (the house has to sell) even though we've decided to move back to the States - several months ago !

Good luck working on the patience. I hope things do go quickly thouh - oh, and I just love Barcelona... such a beautiful city !

oreneta said...

You've reminded me of something...when you bring Charlie down, the very first thing you need to do is go and get a 'scalibur' collar for him.

http://www.scalibor.es/scalibor/collar.asp

This is an anti-mosquito collar, because one particular kind of mosquito can carry a disease called leishmania. You don't want Charlie to get it, Chuck did.

It isn't deadly, but requires lifelong treatment or it will be.

Ugh. Sorry to rain on the parade, but you need to know. Every vet carries them. Indeed, Max could pick one up on one of the trips to BCN before you bring him down and have him wearing it in the plane so he doesn't get bit on the tarmac. Sounds paranoid, but you don't want leishmania if you can help it.

Glad you're looking for a place to love.

eusmaca said...

The art of being patience is going around eh? I hear you, I hate to wait for anything, once I make up my mind, its go, go, go, go....

Connie said...

We're due to move in June. I don't even want to go, but something about having the idea in the back of my mind, all the time, makes me jumpy. Like I have to do something. Now.

Patience is a virtue, but I am not always virtuous...

A Touch of Dutch said...

With my experiences here, which have always been *rush rush rush* in the Netherlands, I can advise you to take whatever extra time you are being given to really look at everything about where you will eventually be. I hope this makes sense. I'm having a tough time finding the right words for it. Take advantage of the time you are being given.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

You're doing an amazing job of juggling multiple balls - hang in there! Max wont be traveling forever and as you pointed out this is a wonderful career move. Just keep loving one another up and I am sure you'll get through this...