Lions, Tigers, and Bees - Oh My!

Everybody has at least one, unfounded, unreasonable fear. Some people fear heights; others are claustrophobic. My greatest fear is bees. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I loathe them. Bees, to me, just look evil-- especially wasps. I hate wasps most of all.

Truth be told, I can't even be within 30 feet of one of those evil, winged creatures without having an overwhelming urge to run for the hills. The problem is that there are bees in them there hills. There is no escaping them, at least through the months of April - October.

A fear of bees may be the major reason that I am not the outdoor type (no doubt a shock to regular blog readers). Even though I grew up on a farm, complete with my own pony, I spent many a summer day locked in the comfort of an air conditioned house rather than be exposed to the harsher elements of nature, bees included.

I also think that my fear of bees is the reason that I prefer fall and winter months to the spring and summer ones. Give me the dead of winter precisely because all of nature is dead or hibernating. During these months, I just don't have to deal with running into my arch enemy. I find those months much less stressful, And, I will even venture into the great outdoors from time to time without hyperventilating.

To be honest, I really don't think this particular fear is unfounded or based on some unreasonable paranoia. Bees do hate me -- of this I am sure. They seek me out in an effort to ruin my life. As proof, I offer this scenario:

One night not so long ago, I was sound asleep in bed, under all my sheets and covers, dreaming peacefully about something for a later post. Then suddenly, I was harshly and rudely awaken from my slumber by a pain so sharp and recognizable that I knew what it must be. A wasp had literally stung me in the ass while I slept!!

I jumped out of bed, pulled down the covers, and discovered the evil creature lying in my bed, smiling wickedly, and laughing in my face. Well, the laughing part is an exaggeration, but it was smiling. I saw fangs and everything.

How is it that a wasp managed to fly down from the ceiling, sneak under both a comforter and $900 sheets, find my ass and sting it without there being purposeful intent?? It's just not possible. Science folks like Utenzi and Senior Advisor might balk at all of this, but I know better. That wasp knew exactly what he was doing and who he was doing it to. (Ok, I'm assuming it was a male wasp. But, the facts of this case make it a logical assumption. A girl wasp wouldn't sting my ass, right?).

To add further proof, the very next week another wasp was flying around in my bedroom, taunting me as a painful reminder of what had occurred prior. I slammed the bedroom door and slept in the living room for two days thereafter. I felt paralyzed by the wasp's presence. Finally, I invited a friend over to kill the wasp. Only then was I able to sleep in my bedroom again.

I'd rest so much easier if we could just get rid of bees once and for all. Why do we need them anyway? We could keep the honeybee. I really like honey and have never had issues with honeybees.

What do you think? Do you have any crippling fear that you'd like to share?