12.11.2005

Mementos

My favorite pair of sweat pants, all comfy and worn-in, aren't mine at all. I stole, err...I mean, inherited them, from Dean, my ex-husband. These pants don't even fit my frame. He was 6' 4" and I am only 5'7" without heels. Still, I love wearing these big old, baggy sweats.

No matter what the occasion--lazy Sundays, cleaning days, those days when I'm in the throes of PMS, my inherited sweat pants are the clothing of choice. We have a long history together; they comfort me.

Similarly, I possess other pieces of "inherited" clothing in my wardrobe. Shorts, t-shirts, socks, sweatshirts, baseball caps--all mementos of relationships past that have found their way into my drawer of comfortable, only-to-be-worn-at-home, attire.

In all cases and usually after a sleepover, an item was loaned out, not actually given to me on a permanent basis. However, I wore the clothing so often through the course of a relationship that it became "common law clothing," thus mine for the taking.

Is there a problem with this?

I've often thought about giving certain articles of clothing back to their rightful owner. But after the passing of so much time, is it really worth it? Are these men looking longingly in their closets wondering what ever happened to that old concert t-shirt or favorite micro brewery sweatshirt? I think not. Besides, if I did give an article back, would the rightful owner think this gesture was a ploy on my part to reconnect? I shudder at the thought.

So here I am with a drawer full of clothes that neither fit and nor belong to me. Like serial murderers who have taken souvenirs from their victims, I have become a serial dater, who has a drawer full of mementos from her former suitors. And every time I wear his clothing, I think back to the owner-- even if I am with a new boyfriend.

This phenomenon can't be unique to me. There is something sweet and sexy about a woman wearing her man's clothing, especially when the relationship is contemporaneous and his scent lingers in the fabric. But even after the relationship fades, so long as it was a good relationship, a woman wearing her ex-boyfriend's clothing shows that she at least took away and still carries a few pleasant memories with her along the way. For if the relationship had not been a good, the article of clothing would have been taken out with the trash or worse--used as starter material for her fireplace.

I guess what I am saying is that men who have lost their prized sports team shorts or Budweiser caps to me should feel honored by the loss. Because even though the relationship ended, the good times and the lessons I learned were not shoved away in some dark place to forget. Like the clothes, they were and are still very much used and fondly remembered today.

8 comments:

3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

One thing that can be said about past boyfriends and husbands...they sure knew how to dress comfortably. ;-) Well written post, that was an enjoyable read Diane. As I sit here reading it, in an X's tank top, and my present husbands sweats. I don't think you're alone on this one! ;-)

3T

sethro said...

I've always wondered what happened to my Welcome Back Kotter! t-shirt....

That said, I'm now going to start proliferating an article of clothing from each of my friends. ;)

utenzi said...

That's pretty much a one-way street, Diane. Since most men won't be able to fit into clothing of their girlfriends, the clothing usually flows from male to female and not vice versa. But that's okay---we men do enjoy women to stay close to the thought of us. It's vaguely erotic to know that out there in the world there's a few women sleeping in my long forgotten clothes. :-)

The Door Steward said...

I think the clothing acts a reminder of happy times and is a comfort. My ex has a few things that belong to me, including loads of socks! I wouldn't want them back as I would think that she wants to cut all ties.

You can't beat a girl in a crisp, white mans shirt the morning after the night before...hmmm ;o)

Sorted Lives said...

Nothing hotter than a woman in her ex-mans sweats. Great Blog -- you are fabulous and I am sure we could have quite a contest at who can outdrink who when it comes to the martinis!!!!

Diane Mandy said...

3T- Whew! Glad I am not alone on this one...

Sethro - I'm sure you have plenty of "friends" you can steal clothes from. The question is, would you really want to?

Door Steward- I get the crisp white shirt thing, but when it comes to men's clothing, I prefer comfort over fashion. Did I just say that.

Utenzi - True, this phenomenon is a one way street. I'm glad though you appreciate the gesture and see it my way. I'm not a thief. This is something men shouldbe proud of...

Sorted Lives - Contest?? Your on! Especially if it is the French Martini... My personal favorite.

TamWill said...

I remember those long forgotten snags...snagging his scented T-shirt or a pair of boxers to sleep in :)

JustJunebug said...

ah...sweet memories...i actually had on last boyfriends Border Patrol sweatshirt last night..even though I am not supposed to wear it in public. who cares, i broke up with him but still have that fab shirt.