Mementos

My favorite pair of sweat pants, all comfy and worn-in, aren't mine at all. I stole, err...I mean, inherited them, from Dean, my ex-husband. These pants don't even fit my frame. He was 6' 4" and I am only 5'7" without heels. Still, I love wearing these big old, baggy sweats.

No matter what the occasion--lazy Sundays, cleaning days, those days when I'm in the throes of PMS, my inherited sweat pants are the clothing of choice. We have a long history together; they comfort me.

Similarly, I possess other pieces of "inherited" clothing in my wardrobe. Shorts, t-shirts, socks, sweatshirts, baseball caps--all mementos of relationships past that have found their way into my drawer of comfortable, only-to-be-worn-at-home, attire.

In all cases and usually after a sleepover, an item was loaned out, not actually given to me on a permanent basis. However, I wore the clothing so often through the course of a relationship that it became "common law clothing," thus mine for the taking.

Is there a problem with this?

I've often thought about giving certain articles of clothing back to their rightful owner. But after the passing of so much time, is it really worth it? Are these men looking longingly in their closets wondering what ever happened to that old concert t-shirt or favorite micro brewery sweatshirt? I think not. Besides, if I did give an article back, would the rightful owner think this gesture was a ploy on my part to reconnect? I shudder at the thought.

So here I am with a drawer full of clothes that neither fit and nor belong to me. Like serial murderers who have taken souvenirs from their victims, I have become a serial dater, who has a drawer full of mementos from her former suitors. And every time I wear his clothing, I think back to the owner-- even if I am with a new boyfriend.

This phenomenon can't be unique to me. There is something sweet and sexy about a woman wearing her man's clothing, especially when the relationship is contemporaneous and his scent lingers in the fabric. But even after the relationship fades, so long as it was a good relationship, a woman wearing her ex-boyfriend's clothing shows that she at least took away and still carries a few pleasant memories with her along the way. For if the relationship had not been a good, the article of clothing would have been taken out with the trash or worse--used as starter material for her fireplace.

I guess what I am saying is that men who have lost their prized sports team shorts or Budweiser caps to me should feel honored by the loss. Because even though the relationship ended, the good times and the lessons I learned were not shoved away in some dark place to forget. Like the clothes, they were and are still very much used and fondly remembered today.