A Moment of Silence

I have neglected my blog this week. Normally when I go days without posting, I give notice. I give reasons. I prepare myself, fellow bloggers, and those who happen to stumble upon this site (these days, usually folks who are googling the "agony of defeat ski jumper"), for the brief respite.

But not this time. I just abandoned my blog, without cause or justification.

In my "real" life, so many friends battle tremendous problems and obstacles, making me understand that my issues are so very, very minor in comparison. It's the same sensation you get after gazing at the stars on a particularly clear night and the feeling of overwhelming smallness and insignificance that overtakes you. I like to think of this as Mother Nature's way of kicking you in the groin and screaming, "Get a life. Who do you think you are anyway?"

That's how I'm feeling these days. I've got it good. I really do. I have a close group of friends--the family I chose for myself. I've got my career, my house, my health. I never lack for something interesting to do and a story to tell. I am single; but I'm not alone. And while I whine about available men, or the lack thereof, we all know that most of my whining is done for the social enjoyment of it more then anything. How else could I complain about my vagina turning into the Great Dustbowl (it hasn't, by the way)? In what other forum could I discuss whether a man is "sheetworthy"--worthy of my $900 sheets (which of course begs the question, what sort of person goes and buys $900 sheets just for the sake of owning them and the story to tell? But I digress...)

So here I am-- ranting and raving about nothing particular, while others I love deal with grave and life altering issues. My dear friend Faith battles cancer and, barring a miracle from a recently approved drug, won't make it another year. My friend Kelly lost her job. Mary Beth found out her daughter is using cocaine. Nader might be deported. And with the seriousness of my friend's dramas, suddenly, I don't feel like dishing about my last girls' night out or latest boy issues. In fact, I don't feel like writing at all. "Get a life. Who do you think you are anyway?" I keep coming back to the smallness and insignificance of it all.

Don't mistake this for depression. I've got nothing at the present moment to be unhappy about. Rather, take it as a sign of respect-- a moment of silence for everyone, everyday, who suffers while the world selfishy and obliviously goes on.


utenzi said...

$900 sheets, Diane? I missed that one. Wow.

You're quite right about how serious your issues are--but they are yours. No matter how bad the problems other people have, they're not our problems. Our minds are going to keep returning to our own problems--big or small. And maybe by focusing on your "little" problems some of your friends can momentarily forget their big problems. But don't shave your head!

JustJunebug said...

ah, now i understand. and i respect your silence.

take care of you. and those friends.

TamWill said...

It's ok to talk to us about your problems. I really admire you for counting your blessings.

You can always look around and find someone worse off, I try my best to do that when I am down in the mully-grubs!

Have a great weekend! I have missed you! :O)

3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

I have to admit I was shcocked at $900.00 sheets too! (Well I actually wondered what it felt like to sleep in $900 sheets)

I think that is very tender hearted of you to feel this way and much for your friends.

I understand what you're saying, but we are always here, when you want to share.