Diamonds in the rough

"Have you figured out his flaws?"

Known for her direct, cut-to-the-chase, demeanor, my manager didn't surprise me with her question. However, my answer took her aback.

"I haven't found any flaws." I replied quietly.

Nancy looked annoyed. "You haven't found any? Diane, Diane..." She shook her head at me disapprovingly.

"... I've tried," I said--as if to justify my answer. "I've been looking for that chink in the armor. I even tried to pick a fight with Max one time. You know, to see what it would be like if I provoked him..."


"And nothing... He was perfect. Even as a provocateur, I couldn't get the guy to crack." I continued.

"Nobody's perfect," Nancy responded, as if I needed the reminder. "Is he aware of YOUR flaws?"

MY FLAWS?!? I couldn't help but wonder what Nancy meant by "your flaws," but thought it best not to ask. She is my manager--my boss's boss, no less. Having Nancy articulate my shortcomings might be bad for my self esteem as well as my career aspirations. For now, I'd rather go on believing I was without serious defect. But to be polite, I played along with the question.

"I think he knows my flaws. I haven't put on any pretenses or held back my personality from him."

I may have dismissed Nancy's questions at the time, but found myself reflecting back on our conversations. Why haven't Max and I had a single disagreement, let alone argument? Are we just that compatible or merely glossing over each others imperfections? Do we in love with the fact that we are in a relationship or do we love each other? While we have tried to go into our relationship with eyes wide open, is it possible that rose-colored glasses hinder our vision??

Call me an idealist, if you like. But as long and hard as I have looked for that ugly shadow hiding in the closet, I can't find one with this guy. Not that I believe that he is without defect, that I am without defect, or that we won't have our problems--life experiences tell me otherwise. After all, even the most brilliant diamond has cracks when placed under a microscope. But why spend time working to find problems that, today, just aren't there?

Speaking of diamonds, did I mention that we took me to the jewelry store recently? He wanted to get an idea of my likes and dislikes, just in case the need ever arises.


Siryn said...


What does HE consider to be his flaws? It may be that you just compromise in fabulous fashion, which is the best you can hope for. My great ex and I rarely fought, and we had a really good relationship until it became clear to me that we weren't going to work in the long run.

Love doesn't have to be a battlefield.

Jamy said...

I read something once that said happy couples didn't have fewer problems than other couples, they just ignored the problems. They saw the good and discounted the bad. You have a guy whose "flaws" trouble you so little that you don't even notice them? He's a keeper.

Don't go looking for problems. They'll arrive on their own eventually, no need to rush them along.

kenju said...

Not to be too premature about it - but if congratulations are in order - let me give you a quote on the flowers.....LOL

evercurious said...

I've done a little catch up. The pup is a cutie. I hope you have more than cocktail glasses for the kiddies. And, if you get a diamond for the left hand- WHOA! How exciting. Seems like things are really well for you. I'm happy for you.

mollymcmommy said...

ohhh, i'm getting excited, rings, RINGS????!!!!!

and can I kick that chick nancy's ass? WTF is up with her? some people only like drama huh?!


├ůsa said...

Diane! First of all: how exciting to go look for jewellery! And what's up with that Nancy person?! Is she so miserable in her own relationship?

Don't you argue because there's nothing to argue about or because you are not an arguing person? I avoid conflicts myself and never argue - that's why I'm asking. And I would think that when you are a mature (doesn't have to be old!) person who has done a lot of thinking: you tend not to pick a partner with large flaws. Small flaws just doesn't matter I think. If you share morals and hopefully some dreams, and if he's a good hearted person with humour (preferably), then there might not be so many flaws that matters. Just my thoughts.

Diane Mandy said...

Aww, you guys are so sweet. But to be fair, Nancy is one of the nicest people I know and one of the most supportive. She knows how unhappy I was in my last marriage and justs wants to be sure I go into this relationship (wherever it goes) withe yes WIDE OPEN!

Grins said...

I've actually men that seem to perfect to tell me their flaws. "OK, what is wrong with you?Spill it". Most laugh and tell me minor stuff that wouldn't bother most sane women. Oh but back to this diamond thing. Hmmm, just in case the need to purchase should arise huh?

utenzi said...

Max does seem too good to be true. Are you sure he really exists, Diane? He's not some imaginery fellow that you've escaped to in your hour of need (no doubt induced by your lack of hair)...?

I did notice that Max appeared right before the hair was cut off. Interesting...

AmyD said...

GOOD SIGN! In the new-aged version of a fairy tale, first comes the puppy, then comes marriage. ;o)

So lovely to read that someone else out there can't seem to find a flaw in their loved one. To me, much like yourself, it's not because they don't have them, but more that you love them BECAUSE of those flaws just as much as you love them for their wonderfully flawless qualities. In my book, that's called PURE love.