Body Butter?

My coworker Bob lef, what, hopefully, can only be described as a gag gift in my office today. The package featured big bold letters on the front, so I was relieved that I had seen it in my office before any of peers did.

"LOOK GREAT NAKED," it proclaimed.

I peaked inside, afraid of what I might find. It was lemon sage body butter by Bliss, a complimentary toiletry from the W hotel.

I had ragged Bob every day during our recent business trip to San Diego. It hardly seemed fair that he, our national sales manager, slept at the W hotel, while I was left alone in the slums. Actually, I stayed at the Wyndham, an fine hotel in its own right. But, when compared to the W, it might as well have been Motel 6.

I'd never stayed at the W, but new it had to be something special. I reasoned that any hotel, identified by a single letter, had to be good. Why had I been denied luxury? Did a national sales manager really rank that much higher than me? At my company, the answer is a resounding yes.

I suppose that with this gift Bob is trying to flout his position in my face. He couldn't possible think that I'd look bad naked... could he? Just to be sure I plan to slather the lemon sage butter all over myself tonight. This, coupled with a long night of beauty sleep, is bound to improve my appearance naked. And if not, the thousands I could earn in a sexual harassment lawsuit will go a long way toward the plastic surgery it would require to make me perfect. :-)