10.17.2006

For whom the bell tolls?

If we decide to get married, what kind of ceremony would you want?"

It's no secret that Max and I believe this relationship may lead to wedded bliss, but to hear the question posed sent shivers down my spine. It isn't the thought of matrimony that scares me as much as the idea I might have to stand in front of a crowd of witnesses again.

"When the time is right, let's just head down to the courthouse and grab a justice of the peace? No fuss, no muss." I countered.

Max didn't care for the suggestion. While he wouldn't want the pomp and circumstance of a big, church wedding, he would like to host a small ceremony with those closest to us in attendance. And as we talked about the possibilities, his imagination began to run wild. "Why don't we rent a small island and invite our friends?"

"... and hire Ricardo Montalban and Tatoo while were at it?" I might have managed to stop the words from rolling off my tongue, but unrepressable facial contortions revealed my feelings just the same.

I'm not excited by the thought of a wedding. I've already been through two, and look how well those marriages turned out. Whether small or large, traditional, casual, or flamboyant, I can't think of a single scenario that would motivate me to want another. The dress, cake, first dance, toasts--I'd as soon have root canal than participate in anything remotely bridal. And as shocking as this may sound, I really don't want to be the center of attention.

"We could save the ridiculous amount of money that we'd spend on a wedding, and send all our friends airline tickets. This way they have to come and see us once we move abroad." I thought this suggestion made for a perfectly reasonable alternative, but my boyfriend seemed resistant. We decide to drop the issue for another day.

Max hears my objections, but believes that we can find an alternative that meets his need to celebrate and my need to avoid any ceremony or fanfare. I'm not so optimistic. Fortunately, we've got time figure it out. There aren't any bells ringing for Max and Mandy just yet. And to be honest, the only bell I like hearing is the one that rings off my dog's collar as he trots along his merry (as opposed to marry) way.

6 comments:

Sara said...

I can't say that I blame you one bit. I am not a fan of being the center of attention and would prefer something VERY small, if anything. Preferrably followed by a party and lots of alcohol.

TamWill said...

I agree with you, once you have been there done that, it seems like torture.

But really the two of you deserve some kind of celebration.

Max sounds like a romantic and rare kind of guy. The kind that makes you grin and bear it :O)

├ůsa said...

How about a wedding with a theme? Does it sound dorky? I used to think so until I went to a costume party where every body where dressed from the 20ties. The theme was something like the five Chicago mobster families – which of course wouldn’t be the most appropriate wedding theme… Even if you (like I used to) think a Charleston-dress won’t suite you: go try one on. A white beaded dress. It was a blast when every body where dressed up like that! Dressed up but not stuffy you know.

Or like my mom and her husband did: they brought their families and their closest friends on their favourite hike. At the top of the mountain with a gorgeous view, the minister wed them. (not sure if I’m using the correct vocabulary). We had carried champagne and cake up the mountain. It was so them. Very nice. Dinner down at the valley afterwards.

Go ahead and do something. This time it’s different.

Desiree said...

Aw, that's so nice that he wants to take the plunge! I agree with everyone else here, think of something different and do it!

Egan said...

My wife and I got married in front of about 25 people in Maui and were so pleased with the outcome. Small ceremony in a very beautiful location. Instant honeymoon.

David said...

There are many things you could do. My friend got married in a church ceremony with just close friends. I called and told him I was sorry I missed it because I was offshore at work. He said if you were 15 minutes late you missed it. Zip in, "I do", zip out. Nice reception. Took the money down they didn't spend and put down payment on a house. They are still just as married. Guess it all comes down to what you are both comfortable with.

I plan on offering my daughters $20,000 to run off and get married. A plan my wife hated, until I told her a guy I work with, his uncle is spending $75,000 on his daughtes wedding. She said yes, $20,000 sounds fair think they'll take it????