You’d think that doing a wedding “your way ”--sans the big dress, huge guest list, and all the formality--would make the whole build up to the big day a little less stressful, right?

Wrong! Even though I am trying to fight the tension creeping up the back of my neck, it’s there nonetheless. And, we are still three, long months away from the big day.

Max and I almost had our first fight, because Bridzilla (that would be me) reared her ugly head when he suggested we move our date to accommodate two military friends, who are being transferred July 1. It happened during a phone conversation with his buddies.

“I understand that you won’t be able to make the party, but maybe Diane and I can go ahead and get married before you leave. We’re just planning to go to the courthouse, anyway. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

Maybe under ordinary circumstances, Diane wouldn’t mind. But with a looming, parental lecture ahead, Bridzilla went ballistic moments after she heard Max hang up the phone.

“Max, I can’t believe you would just change EVERYTHING without even talking to me? HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!”

The poor guy looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Sweetie, what have I changed? Had we committed to an actual wedding date?” he asked.

Calm reason in the face of hysteria proved to be the wrong strategy in dealing with Bridzilla.

“You just aren’t thinking! We CANT get married on June 30th! Sonya is on vacation from June 23rd to July 1, which means that we’d have to move the wedding date to at least the 22nd-- three weeks before the party. WHO HAS A RECEPTION THREE WEEKS AFTER THEIR WEDDING!?!?!”

Actually, I knew plenty of folks who’d thrown post-wedding parties weeks after their big day, but that wasn’t the point. In reality, my reaction had nothing to do with the wedding or after party. Rather, it all stemmed from the sad reality that I was, and had been, making life-changing plans and sharing this happy news with everyone—except the two people who should matter most…

my parents.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do it to them; I can’t do it to me.

The time has come to share my joy with my family

…and let the chips fall where they may.

I’ll start with my sister this week, and head to Virginia this weekend.


Bluepaintred said...

oh sweetie its going to feel so much better once you get this off your shoulders.

I swear it will.

I know its hard to tell secrets, especially ones that you know they will take hard, but in the end,its better.

it would be great if they were estatic for you, but having that weight lifted, and you being happy for you, THATS what really matters

kenju said...

Diane, that is the best thing to do, I am sure. The stress you are feeling is probably largely related to that. I am sorry that we couldn't work it out - and I hope that you will find someone to help and that you'll be happy with the results. Good luck!

Monica said...

I bet you anything that as soon as they see the happiness and the joy you are oozing, your family will not give you an ounce of grief over this. Go in there with the conviction that they will be happy and overjoy for you, sometimes we make a big deal over nothing.

and like everyone said here, its time that you take that off your chest. Good luck!

egan said...

Sorry to hear about the fight. I'm glad though this will lead to you announcing your wedding date to your parents. I think it's good they know so they can share in your momentous event.

running42k said...

Considering how well things went with the folks last time, go for it.

utenzi said...

'Tis time, it's true. Good luck to you. Harken, what are those words the Greek Chorus at Stage left are chanting?

Netty said...

Just wanted to wish you luck. Just remember that even though they are your family, YOU have to decide what makes YOU happy. They don't get to decide what makes you happy, and you don't have to do or not do anything to make them happy.