7.31.2008

Decompressing

Admittedly, I am in a state of decompression today. This morning, I woke to quiet calm and didn’t have jump out of bed to rustle up breakfast or organize the day. My guest-free house has returned to order and looks clean and welcoming. And even though my German teacher is scheduled to come for our weekly lesson in just a few hours, I’ve decided to laze around this morning instead of doing homework. I need a day to do absolutely nothing.

Believe me—I enjoyed hosting my family the last few weeks, but I was equally relieved to have them return home.

The visit to Germany provided many positives. My mother and father had never visited this part of Europe and enjoyed the beautiful scenery of both the German and French wine region, as well as Switzerland. I believe they drew comfort in seeing how happy I am and what a nice life I now enjoy. Most importantly, it gave them the opportunity to get to know my husband a little better and see his naturally warm and caring disposition. Max played porter, chauffer, and personal assistant these last few weeks, and his kindnesses didn’t go unnoticed by my family.

However, the last few weeks have also been a little tough for me. I was reminded of some behaviors and attitudes, particularly on the part of my mother, which I find hard to swallow. I won’t use my blog as a platform to be disrespectful or complain, but I will say I am even more grateful that I don’t have to be around the pressures of family very often.

Do you know what I mean?

13 comments:

running42k said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Glad you are enjoying yourself.

How is the German coming?

michelle of bleeding espresso said...

I didn't have this with my mom, but I've had it in the past with other visitors...sometimes visitors serve as a great reminder as to how wonderful our everyday lives are :)

headbang8 said...

"I won’t use my blog as a platform to be disrespectful or complain..."

Well, there's your solution to the blogging crisis. Your blog is public and identifiable; it makes it hard to be totally frank.

Start an anonymous blog and your subject matter doubles.

And it's a lot more fun when you're able to put the boot in!

Lynda said...

I have another 2 weeks with my MIL ..........I soooooooo know what you mean!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

no pressure from this family member :) EVER! - C

Charlotte said...

Oh hon, I hear ya. I can't be around my grandma or my mom for more than an afternoon, perhaps two, if they're on their good behavior. Since we'll be off to the Heimatland on Saturday, my brain has already worked itself into a frenzy trying to anticipate all the jabs that my grandma will make on my expanded body and the fact that I'm actually married and whatnot ... still, they're family, and they do deserve your love. But nobody said that you'll have to stay overly close to them to love them.

patches said...

Yes, I know exactly what you mean....And Headbang8 has an excellent point.

Anonymous said...

It's a funny reminder that the grass is not always greener. My honey and I live about 3 hours away by plane from my family and about 3 hours by plane in a diff direction from his family, and I miss them terribly (particularly mine of course). I long for them to come visit and it usually doesn't seem long enough. But then I talk to my friends with families nearby and I'm reminded of the headaches. People wanting more of your time than you sometimes have or want to give. And even when both people's families are close together in a city that is less than 4 or 5 hours away by car. Then each side is wanting equal time and you're spread so thin. I think if my family was ever here to visit long enough, I'd have the same reaction you did. It's a reminder that the grass may seem greener, but that's not always the case.

Shelly said...

For two decades I said that my mom could live here on the farm and not make me cranky, but things change. My father passed away two years ago and the changes in family dynamics have been pretty dramatic. I no longer feel like mom could live here, my relationship with my youngest sister has become increasingly distant - we all live within a twenty mile radius...yikes. I keep trying to be zen about all of it but more often than not snarky digs tip me right over, that's when I indulge in the dream of moving to Italy. ;)

Monica said...

I can totally relate... my mother and I are out of funk right now, due to her doing and I'm really at the point where I need to distance myself from her for a while in order to link the wound (that she made) and at the same time find a bit of forgiveness to give her.

Dora said...

My mom, being the Greek mother that she is, is always worried that if I am not doing everything exactly like she would, will make me a total failure. So I hear you and I'm saying, don't worry! You know you are ok, and you know that your life is good, and just ignore all the yucky stuff and thank your lucky stars you live so far away and not down the street! (Like me) Big Hug, now go decompress! Go read a good book for a few days!

Dan-E said...

my mom isn't greek but we seem to have the same type of problems, and that's just from talking to her over the phone.

Åsa said...

Diane! For 10 years I lived on another continent than my family. It was nice, liberating, lonely and it made me grow into the person I am today. However: when I moved back, I had to start from where I left off 10 years earlier when I decided to work through issues/questions/functions etc with my family. So what I’m saying is: the distance is good for personal growth, but you can never move away from problems – it just puts them on hold for the time being. It might make you strong enough so that you finally don’t feel the need for your parents approval or whatever it might be you resent.

So glad you like Germany! My fiancé works there. Lots of nice stuff to see and do. And close to so many other countries. I’m happy for you!