Pretty amazing

First, thank you to everyone for your kind wishes and congratulations. As I am so very very far away from family and friends, you're support means the world to me.

Yesterdays surprise news finally sunk in at 4am this morning when I woke up out of a dead sleep and couldn't return to sound slumber. I have a hard time believing I could be a mother at all, let alone a mother of twins. When I let myself go there and visualize the reality of it, the images take my breath away--literally.

Max, on the other hand, is nothing but joyous, bursting into what I can only describe as some sort of "Walk Like and Egyptian dance" every time he thinks about our pregnancy. After all, this twin thing is all his doing, you know--a result of his super Egyptian, pharaohesque sperm.

Right now, aside from breast tenderness and a new penchant for afternoon naps, I feel great and would hardly believe I was pregnant if it weren't for the successive ultrasound images posted on my refrigerator. All I can say is we're feeling a certain sense of happy bemusement at it all, which has even seemed to lighten the serious demeanor of my doctor. When he saw the images on the ultrasound, all he could do was smile and say "life can be pretty amazing."

Pretty amazing, indeed.

Of course, all the caveats still exist. It's early. I'm high risk and, now, only higher. Some might think I should not reveal the secrets of my pregnancy so early, especially when the potential for problems is so great. But I find being open here, in this little space, with you a cathartic experience. And who knows? Maybe all of this--my diary of expat life, fertility challenges, and pregnancy-- might actually benefit someone someday. Especially after my first miscarriage, I also realized there is no shame in losing a pregnancy. It's no ones fault and, with the exception of purposeful or reckless behavior, totally out of the realm of human control.

I know the challenges and risk ahead. Trust me, I do. But for today, I choose to revel in the fact that I am the mother-to-be of two. And no matter, that's a pretty terrific thing.

1 +1 =

TWINS!

Folks, seriously, I couldn't make this up if I tried.