Between the Sheets

Well, I've done something most people would think is downright crazy-ordered $900 Italian-made sheets. The price includes both the flat and fitted sheet. That's right, $900. I put 50% down Saturday and will pay off the balance when the sheets arrive.

This was not an impulse purchase like that short white leather dress and go-go boots I bought on consignment. With my sheets, I thought long and hard about the purchase and even consulted with friends about the risks and benefits.

For just $2.47 a day, $76 dollars a month, I get to sleep in sheets with a thread count so fine that it cannot be counted. This is less than what I pay for digital cable, and I don't even watch television.

After all, I sleep every night, au naturale to be exact. Why not treat myself each and every evening to a pure pleasure-a man now being totally optional.

However with my sheet purchase, I'm suddenly coming up with all sorts of questions. First, is my $1.50, cash-in-advance, drycleaner going to be able to properly handle my $900 sheets? Long term care will be the key to a happy relationship with my sheets. I could, of course, wash in Woolite, but even that seems beneath them. Is there an Italian version of a delicate wash more worthy of my sheets?

And speaking of worthiness, now that my bed will be dressed in only the finest Egyptian cotton, I have to ask the inevitable question before I invite any man over. Is he worthy? Or, do I need to pull out the good old Target sheets? And if a man isn't really sheet-worthy, is he worth inviting up at all? Decisions, decisions...

I could go out and buy in-between sheets-let's say 300 or 400 count. This way, I'd have a range by which to judge the man's worthiness and it wouldn't have to be so extreme. Or, maybe depending on how the relationship progresses, I could use a staggered approach to the sheets. With every three month that passes, we would go up a notch in the sheet department. Of course, if the man is of an extraordinary nature, I might have to bump him up to the luxury sheets a little sooner.

This is all getting a little too complicated for me and I am getting a headache. I need to go lie down for a bit... but my sheets??? Oh, I suppose the Target sheets will have to do for today.


Xavierism said...

Bon dia!

I do believe you made a great choice! My Buelita was Egptian and she taught me about the goodness of good cotton. Because of her, my bed only has the best sheets. I love the coolness they offer as soon as my body touches the sheets. It's worth every penny!

I'm Xavier...a lurker from Queen of Sass's journal.

Have a great week!


Diane Mandy said...

Welcome dear lurker! I'm glad to know you think I made the right decision, especially since you are knowledgeable on the subject. Feel free to advise me on fine linens anytime! :-)

Kara0303 said...

"I have to ask the inevitable question before I invite any man over. Is he worthy? Or, do I need to pull out the good old Target sheets? And if a man isn’t really sheet-worthy, is he worth inviting up at all? Decisions, decisions…"

This cracked me up! It's such a thought process I would have! Isn't the timing interesting that you invest in these sheets after meeting the new boy? Hmmm?

KOM said...

Let me preface by saying that I don't know what the heck Im talking about.

But. The Wife and I received a set of egyption cotton sheets as a wedding present. I don't know how I've been able to sleep on anything else.

I couldn't give you the thread count, I don't know what they cost or where they come from. All's I know is me likey.

HarleyWriter said...

It's nice to have bedding that reinforces your standards. I've never thought of doing that.

David said...

While I was reading this all I could think about was Sienfield. In the episode where they stopped making Women's sponges (sp?). Elaine had that interview sheet to determine if the man was Sponge worthy. . .
Maybe you need to conduct interviews to decide weather or not to use the good sheets of the Target sheets.

queenofsass said...

All I have to say is that I would not trade my 100% silk sheets for anyone. I would get rid of hubby 1st. They are awesome esp. in the all-together.

Diane Mandy said...

Kara - Amazing what the new sheets have done to my thought process. Maybe after a good night's sleep in them, I'll think even more clearly! PS. The new guys is already a bust
:-( Yet another dating disaster...

KOM - Me likey, too! I'm afraid this is becoming all too princess- and- the- peaish though... Thumbing my nose at 300 and 400 count. What have I gotten myself into?

Hi, Harleywriter! "Standards" may be too strong a word. Given the results of the men I've dated recently, we've sunk to a whole new low. I'm thinking the $900 sheets will be shared by me and me alone for some time. :-( (insert violin playing here)

David - Oooo, I like this interview sheet idea! As a man of my generation who is still married to his high school sweetheart, I ask you: What sort of questions do you think I should pose?

Sassy Assy: When you come next, I'll let you take me out shopping for some of that silk and satin bedding.

David said...

Hmmm. You like the Sassy Assy nickname too? LOL

I have no idea the questions you should ask. Ever seen that internet joke where they list the 500 things to make a woman happy? Then they list the 2 things to make a man happy. Show up naked, bring beer. Yeah, I was the guy they interviewed for that. I will try to find some things you should ask though :)

Xavierism said...

Oh goodie! Count me in on the shopping fun!