To Plan is Divine

In a recent post about waiting by the phone for a certain someone to call, June offered me a piece of advice, "Remember that rule in The Rules...call by wed for a weekend date. otherwise, you ARE busy..."

Well, I just wanted to let Miss June know that I have stuck to her rule with fabulous results. My phone has been not only been ringing regularly, but also specific plans are being made and being kept. :-) Thanks for the advice!

This brings me to a question, however. Is it so unusual to be a planner?

Because I work one full-time job, one part-time job, audition for the occasional acting gig, blog with some regularity, and take dance classes, I have to plan my social life at least a week in advance. Good friends know this about me and even call weeks ahead to get on my calendar. Some friends have booked standing weekly dates, so this leaves me only Sundays, Thursday night, and the occasional late night Saturday to date or hang out with all the other friends and acquaintances I meet.

Of course, it's not only that I am busy. An organizer by nature, I've always attempted plan my life away (with almost no success). Still, it's my personality type. I like knowing what my plans are for next Wednesday, for instance. Life is filled with one too many questions. And, to have a definite answer if only about scheduling brings me a measure of relief. Not that I mind the occasional spontaneous lunch or dinner. But generally speaking, if you don't book me, you don't get me. It's as simple as that.

This fact has met with a lot of criticism from many of the men in my past. I have repeatedly heard that to have to schedule me is odd, that it somehow takes away from "a go with the flow" attitude toward life and relationships. My point is that all relationships-- from friends to significant others-- should be on equal footing with work, exercise, church, and all those other things that we don't hesitate to schedule. Besides, am I not worth a little effort and forethought?

Help me out here. What do you say? Have I set my expectations too high in this regard?


JustJunebug said...

No you have not set expectations too high. I too plan WAY in advance. And most have become accustomed to that. I have one friend in San Antonio that usually on Thurs or Fri he will IM something to the effect that he'll be close to here, or am I going here, cause he is..and the answer is always no for the most part.

I think most people in general are slackers. Not in the negative sense in the word, but more like, spontaneous, and to me that means slacker :O)

Whats bad is that I am usually so set on things, that I find it extremely difficult to even accept plans for 2 days away because well, I have my own plans. Even if they are just watching Survivor or what-not. I have the whole month of February planned already.

Not to say something crazy might be thrown into the mix, but its highly unlikely.

You ARE worth the effort. I can tell. And thanks for the shout out. And you're welcome! ;O)

David said...

Well I don't think being spontaneous is the same as being a slacker. For me everything at work is planned out weeks in advance usually. It has to be for logistics and all of that. When I get home I don't like being on a schedule for very many things. I want and like to be able to go do things when I want and how I want. I don't plan things for 2 days or weeks in advance unless it is vacation or daughter stuff or things like that. But I also don't believe I am a slacker :)

OH! And yes Diane I would say you are worth it.

JustJunebug said...

I guess I should have worded it differently. Most of the people I know that are the most UNORGANIZED and unplanned people, never get anything done. And complain about it. I mean like real life stuff. Stuff you SHOULD plan for, or plan to do.

Thats why I call THEM slackers.


The Door Steward said...

I plan ahead, just leave little gaps to fill in people who want to "go with the flow". Sometimes its nice to have nothing to do on a particular day and just please yourself on impulse. DS x

David said...


Just kidding! LOL

Well I think what really helps me is that my wife plans stuff out A LOT. So she keeps me in check. So it all works out.

utenzi said...

I absolutely hate planning so I'd not like the way you have your life plotted out, Diane but that's not the point. "To thine own self be true" and all that shit, if someone wants to date you then they have to understand that they need to accomodate your existing life and personality.

Caveat emptor!