9.11.2007

Please give us your thoughts!

Jules slept over last night. She and her latest bo broke up, and we honored the occasion with a bottle of vino and a little chit chat.

In light of her man troubles and my recent sting from Max’s sister, we had a lot of material to dissect. If Jules and I are so completely benign as people, why do these sorts of things happen? Why did her ex behave like he did? How could Max’s sister misinterpret my words so badly?

“Sometimes after a breakup, I wish I could go back and get feedback from the guy,” Jules said.

“You mean like a comment card?“ I asked incredulously.

“Why not? I usually feel completely in the dark about how I’ve come across or what went wrong. It would be a whole lot easier to learn from the relationship, if there were some actual data to study.”

I started thinking about Jules idea, which reminded me of a dating suggestion box that could capture one person’s relationship history. But then, I decided that the feedback didn’t have to be limited to ex-boyfriend. Family, friends, co-workers, could all provide answers to specific survey questions.

But what sort of format would the comment card take? I’m not a fan of fill-in-the-blank, preferring a ranking system instead. So, if I wanted to know how people judge my character the questionnaire might take this format:

On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being strongly disagree and 5 being strongly agree, please answer the following.

So, now that I have the format, all I need are some questions.

If you had the opportunity to ask people's feedback on you, what would you want to know? What questions might you ask?

10 comments:

utenzi said...

I don't think your SIL misinterpreted your words, Diane. Your observations of Egypt were interesting and at times amusing to us here in the USA but I can easily see why a native Egyptian would be annoyed. It's just a matter of cultural perspective and the international reputation we in the US have for trodding over the third world. You didn't do anything wrong, but I'm not surprised she took umbrage either.

AmyD said...

Did I miss something?? I thought you got along famously with Max's sister?... :o(

As for the comment card, I'm more from the type that when I part ways with someone, I ask them what things they think I could improve upon in order to have better luck in the future. Yes, I really HAVE asked exes that very question! Having a "rate me 1-5" comment card would seem way too impersonal for my taste.

But for the rest of the people (friends, family, etc), that might be pretty damn useful...kinda like a job performance review! ;o)

Anonymous said...

What does Max think about his sister's comment? I would involve him -- he will know her tone and reaction best and he might be the best one to smooth things over if your email hasn't gotten any response.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I alwasy wonder what the guy is thiknking after a break up - I think a comment card would be useful yet difficult to be objective about when it comes to criticism....I'd definitely take things way too personally unless I put it in a time capsule and opened it in a couple years...

Monica said...

Hell yeah.. bring on the comment card, like your friend Jules, we sometimes have not a clue as to why things did not work out... the only thing is that it may not be for everyone, since you do need to be a bit think skin and take it as constructive critique.. and not in a form of bashing.

What has happen with the sis-in-law?

LZ Blogger said...

How about... "Will you remember me for "longer" than the time we spent together?" (although I think even if the answer was YES here... it may not have been for a GOOD reason!) ~ jb///

Sara said...

Reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City when the girls decide guys should come with references. Not a bad idea AT ALL.

Neal said...

Some handy things to know:

"Will this person cheat."

"Will this person try to rule your life."

"Will this person go psycho."

Tonya Allison said...

I prefer living in self-denial. Although, if given the option, I would def want to know what my cat thinks of me =)

gunfighter1 said...

I already know what my ex-wife thinks of me, so need need to ask her... as for ex-girlfriends, I know what some of them think. too... and I am pleased by the things that they have told me.

Mostly.