7.21.2008

You can run, but you can’t hide

Max and I have certainly enjoyed the last three months. Spring and summer in Europe have been lovely. We toured many beautiful sites, visited six countries in two months, and spent quality time with both our families. Good weather and lots of activity helped ease the feelings of sadness and doubt I had been experiencing following my miscarriage a few short months ago.

Eased, but not erased…

Friday, the final day of holiday in Greece, I received an e-mail with the subject line “Big news." In it, a friend announced she was expecting her first child in December.

Ordinarily, I revel in my friends’ successes and should have felt nothing but joy on this occasion. But while I was happy for her, the news also brought unexpected heaviness to my heart. I realized that had my pregnancy continued, I would have delivered in December, too.

These feelings will pass eventually. But until this time comes, I will seek refuge in summer distractions, my family’s continued visit, and the promise of future adventures.

20 comments:

egan said...

Ugh, I sort of feel your pain. After a miscarriage it seems everyone in the world is pregnant, even men. It will become easier with time.

zerodoll said...

that is hard to hear. hugs.

kenju said...

I'm sorry, Diane. Did she know about your miscarriage? I hope not, but even if she did, she probably didn't mean to upset you.

patches said...

Aww sister, you're just human. We understand and appreciate you for it.

Charlotte said...

Sending you lots of hugs ...

Simple Answer said...

Hugs

Jill said...

Oh Diane - I'm so sorry. I know it's not easy.

My thoughts are with you.

Hope you're having fun with your family!

running42k said...

Hope all is well and that space in your heart is filled with love soon.

American in Norway said...

Sending you a big hug. Hang in there...

Claire said...

That must be so tough, sweetheart. I am sending love and good thoughts your way.

Cxx

AmyD said...

Such bittersweet news for you. You have every right to fee wistful. Allow yourself to feel it, and then find a way to move past it. If you don't, it will always come back to visit... (((HUGS)))

meno said...

Take your time, take your time.

Grief can't be hurried.

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

I am sorry. Some things you never get over. I am sure your friend would understand.

The Grunt said...

Wish I knew what to say. Feeling hurt is natural, given what you've been through. I hope the brightness of heart will return to you.

Paige Jennifer said...

I know this sounds cliche but like everything and anything that tugs at the heart, it takes time to recover. And as long as you're still taking steps forward, things are going in the right direction.

xoxo

Jack said...

Sorry to hear about this. I am sure that it is not easy.

Erin said...

I think it's good -- and very brave -- that you are writing about how you’re feeling. So many women don't really process the loss. Hang in there. It will get easier.

Dianne said...

Was just thinking about you!

So I came to tell you that I was thinking about you :)

brandy said...

Oh Diane... what a difficult time. I admire your honesty in writing this- I think that it would be very easy to pretend that you feel nothing but joy, but the fact that you have these other feelings just proves that you are human. You are right- I do believe these feelings will pass. And until that day comes- know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you many more lovely summer days.

Claire said...

I am so sorry. I don't think your friend realized.