Six weeks ago, I joined LA Weight Loss’ 8-week body makeover program in the hopes of being ship shape—literally. Max and I cruise the Caribbean in just a couple weeks, and I want to be happy with all those post-vacation photographs we will view for years to come. Vanity is always my biggest motivator, and for this reason, I have followed the program to the letter. The results? Nine pounds, seven inches, and about one dress size with just under two weeks left. This isn’t a miracle makeover by any stretch of the imagination, but I suppose I shouldn’t be unhappy. Still, I do feel dissatisfied because I haven’t reached my goal and instead have hit an irritating plateau for the last two weeks. Grrrrr.
Any woman who has been in this position understands my plight. I’m surviving on a 1300-calorie diet, working out religiously, and turning down most social occasions that revolve around food. For all of this effort and self deprivation, I should be seeing consistent results. Anything less is unsatisfactory at best and completely demoralizing at worst.
I’m in such a bad mood right now, I can hardly stand myself. And please, please don’t tell me that thing could be worse, or that I should be happy with what I’ve achieved. And whatever you do, don’t comment about all the yummy food you’ll be eating this Fourth of July because I’ll probably be feasting on grilled carrot sticks and rice cakes. Bloggers, be warned. To violate these requests might mean that I leave the pink template for a very long time to come or worse.
Anybody else having a happy Monday?
Showing posts with label LA Weight Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LA Weight Loss. Show all posts
6.11.2007
The morning after
Fresh off the wedding and a quick getaway, I find it difficult to face this Monday morning. After a big event or a long weekend, it’s always hard to return to routine. But in this case, it’s not my job that I’m dreading.
It’s the LA Weight Loss woman.
A couple weeks back and in need of a miracle, I handed over $330 in order to participate in an 8-Week Body Makeover program with LA Weight Loss. For the cost of membership you get one week worth of supplements and a contract, which guarantees success so long as the loser follows the program, eats his or her Lite bars, and participates in one-on-one consultation with an LA Weight Loss consultant three times a week.
The company promotes these personal consultations as insightful and necessary. But in my limited experience, the one-on-one meet-ups are really designed to sell more products. Every time I go to meet my consultant, I prepare for it as though I am about to attend a timeshare presentation. Even so, I ended up buying an additional $250 worth of LA lite bars and shakes. If I don’t consume these supplements during the 8-week program, I could always store them away for posterity’s sake in the event I ever decided to build a fallout shelter. When you look at it this way, the bars and shakes are really a bargain.
For the record, this is the most restrictive program in which I have participated. Nevertheless, for the first 10 days I followed the program to the letter and lost about 5 pounds.
The LA Weight Loss woman was delighted with my progress, but her euphoria took a nosedive on the Wednesday before my nuptials.
"So, what’s your strategy for the wedding?" she asked.
"Well, I’m doing a spa day with my girlfriend, and then we’re heading on to the restaurant together," I replied.
"That’s nice," LA Weight Loss woman said. "But I am asking what your FOOD strategy is for tomorrow."
"Food strategy?" I asked. "It’s my wedding. Must I really have a food strategy? Shouldn’t I be able to enjoy the day? Can’t I have my wedding cake and eat it too?
I thought my response was funny, but the LA Weight Loss woman didn’t appreciate the humor.
"If you don’t go in with a plan for success, you’re going to be a FAILURE," she said sharply. Then came her ominous parting, "I’ll see you again Monday."
Even before I left our appointment, I decided to ignore her counsel. Maybe after eating all those bars, people lose their sense of humor along with the poundage. Besides, I had the right to enjoy my wedding dinner. What was the harm in going off the program for one night?
But one night, turned into the weekend. Since our honeymoon cruise was still a few weeks away, Max and I decided to take a “mini-moon” and visited the nation’s capital. Washington D.C. is made famous for many things—the monuments, the politics, a diverse crowd, fabulous restaurant choices, and, of course, Jamy of Grateful Dating. In one quick trip, we managed to sample the best that the city has to offer-- Thai food on Friday, and Indian lunch with Jamy (who is as entertaining in person as her blog is), Ethiopian dinner on Saturday… I could feel my waistline expanding with every delectable morsel.
At the time, these indiscretions felt more like right and appropriate courses of action. I again shrugged off the shrill LA Weight Loss woman and committed a near-mortal sin of leaving my Lite bars at home for the weekend. And, it all felt worth it—until the alarm clock went off this morning and I remembered her words, “I’ll see you again on Monday, Failure.”
I won’t even step on my own bathroom scale this morning to find out how badly I faired. I can feel it in my clothes. Even my new wedding band feels tighter.
So now I have two choices. Do I suck it up (literally and otherwise) and meet with LA Weight Loss woman today? Or, do I throw away my $580 dollars and pray for a nuclear incident?
It’s the LA Weight Loss woman.
A couple weeks back and in need of a miracle, I handed over $330 in order to participate in an 8-Week Body Makeover program with LA Weight Loss. For the cost of membership you get one week worth of supplements and a contract, which guarantees success so long as the loser follows the program, eats his or her Lite bars, and participates in one-on-one consultation with an LA Weight Loss consultant three times a week.
The company promotes these personal consultations as insightful and necessary. But in my limited experience, the one-on-one meet-ups are really designed to sell more products. Every time I go to meet my consultant, I prepare for it as though I am about to attend a timeshare presentation. Even so, I ended up buying an additional $250 worth of LA lite bars and shakes. If I don’t consume these supplements during the 8-week program, I could always store them away for posterity’s sake in the event I ever decided to build a fallout shelter. When you look at it this way, the bars and shakes are really a bargain.
For the record, this is the most restrictive program in which I have participated. Nevertheless, for the first 10 days I followed the program to the letter and lost about 5 pounds.
The LA Weight Loss woman was delighted with my progress, but her euphoria took a nosedive on the Wednesday before my nuptials.
"So, what’s your strategy for the wedding?" she asked.
"Well, I’m doing a spa day with my girlfriend, and then we’re heading on to the restaurant together," I replied.
"That’s nice," LA Weight Loss woman said. "But I am asking what your FOOD strategy is for tomorrow."
"Food strategy?" I asked. "It’s my wedding. Must I really have a food strategy? Shouldn’t I be able to enjoy the day? Can’t I have my wedding cake and eat it too?
I thought my response was funny, but the LA Weight Loss woman didn’t appreciate the humor.
"If you don’t go in with a plan for success, you’re going to be a FAILURE," she said sharply. Then came her ominous parting, "I’ll see you again Monday."
Even before I left our appointment, I decided to ignore her counsel. Maybe after eating all those bars, people lose their sense of humor along with the poundage. Besides, I had the right to enjoy my wedding dinner. What was the harm in going off the program for one night?
But one night, turned into the weekend. Since our honeymoon cruise was still a few weeks away, Max and I decided to take a “mini-moon” and visited the nation’s capital. Washington D.C. is made famous for many things—the monuments, the politics, a diverse crowd, fabulous restaurant choices, and, of course, Jamy of Grateful Dating. In one quick trip, we managed to sample the best that the city has to offer-- Thai food on Friday, and Indian lunch with Jamy (who is as entertaining in person as her blog is), Ethiopian dinner on Saturday… I could feel my waistline expanding with every delectable morsel.
At the time, these indiscretions felt more like right and appropriate courses of action. I again shrugged off the shrill LA Weight Loss woman and committed a near-mortal sin of leaving my Lite bars at home for the weekend. And, it all felt worth it—until the alarm clock went off this morning and I remembered her words, “I’ll see you again on Monday, Failure.”
I won’t even step on my own bathroom scale this morning to find out how badly I faired. I can feel it in my clothes. Even my new wedding band feels tighter.
So now I have two choices. Do I suck it up (literally and otherwise) and meet with LA Weight Loss woman today? Or, do I throw away my $580 dollars and pray for a nuclear incident?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
